RidleyLack90

teenage social media - Just a couple months ago my son Nathan, age 13, declared he wanted a FaceBook account. All of his buddies had one, and he wanted one, too.

After my stomach knotted somewhat and I said a silent prayer, I agreed which he could open a FaceBook account, but told him there would make sure "conditions."

Like any child nowadays, Nathan often comes to mom and dad with requests because of this thing or that thing he absolutely can't live without. And the man always comes prepared with convincing arguments...why he desperately needs a cellphone, the latest gaming innovation, or some other 15 songs from iTunes.

His cases are strong, but we are united within our position that Nathan shouldn't get precisely what he requests. If he did, what would there be to check toward, to operate towards, to dream of? That's why Nathan does not have an XBox, PlayStation or Wii. He doesn't own a PSP and not has already established a GameBoy.

Everything that being said, Nathan has always were built with a computer. Starting at 3 years old with a kid's VTech computer purchased in ToysRUs, he's upgraded every couple of years to the latest, greatest, yet reasonable version...nevertheless the creme de la creme was his iMac which he got for Christmas this past year. He doesn't really overlook a whole lot. He still grows to play games (only it's those made for a computer), but additionally with his computer he creates music using his guitar, records and enhances songs with GarageBand, adds original soundtracks to his or her own iMovies, and uses it to do his homework. Though never to excess, we encourage his computer interest.

Then when Nathan stumbled on me together with his FaceBook request, I said "yes," albeit with some trepidation. Similar to most parents, I have heard the problem reports and knew the possibility danger that the Internet and sites like FaceBook and MySpace might cause to get a vulnerable teenager. But I'm also an advocate of informing and educating our children so as they mature they are able to make the right decisions on their own. It is simply that in-between time from child to young adult that is so perilous today and results in us parents to go gray, particularly with a further risk of the net.

So that's why the "conditions." I told Nathan it absolutely was a lot like driving a vehicle. It might be foolish of me or his father handy within the keys at 16 or 17 and expect him to function a car safely without the right training, instruction and guidance. This is also true with the Internet and, in this instance, using a FaceBook account. There's things he must know to keep himself safe, to guard his privacy understanding that of his friends', and to comprehend the "ins and outs" of safe maneuvering by way of a teen's social media.

tommy jordan - Just what exactly were these "conditions?"

1. The email that Nathan registered his FaceBook account with was one that I needed usage of. That meant whenever you want I really could get into his account, take a peek and ensure everything on his FaceBook met the "Mom and pa Everything Looks Okay" test. Also, whatever was written on his wall found me via email notification.

2. He agreed to "Random FaceBook Reviews" where we might question to take us through his account. We were holding intended as instructional, basically fun, low-key reviews of what he shared in his profile, pictures (if any) he displayed, the thing that was compiled by his friends on his Wall, bumper stickers he collected along with other things he may have available for view by his friends.

3. He could only "Friend" kids he knew, and zero adults (apart from his dad, me, and his awesome Aunt Carol).

4. The computer that he used could be situated in a public spot within our house and not in the room or behind a closed door.

We constantly adjust as things change like FaceBook updates and additional features, but the operative word the following is "we." It's really a "family affair." Nathan knows that dad and mom are participating because we're most worried about his safety and not about attempting to catch him doing something wrong. Now, it's not always touring; we all do have conflicts, nevertheless the important things is that we maintain the communication lines open.

And you know, I've come across some results using the FaceBook experience, too. Teenage are often tough territory to go...specially the early teens. You've got some teens maturing quickly, while others not so much. And it's hard...for both the children. But what I'm picking up through the messages and other FaceBook dialog from Nathan's "friends," both boys and girls, is surely an ease in which they communicate through this medium...bypassing that awkwardness that individuals encountered as teens. I asked Nathan with that, if FaceBook managed to get much easier to speak to girls or other folks he might not usually meet in his number of friends. He agreed it was a pressure-free, fun approach to speak with somebody that he might not ordinarily feel safe speaking with.

FaceBook now offers a way for all to customize their space, encouraging our children being creative and giving "friends" an overview into why is our children so special. Finally, it provides a backdrop on which to get instructional conversations with this kids. For example, 2-3 weeks ago I had been seeing some emails coming in which were not favorable towards a particular young female. I made use of it as a learning opportunity, emphasizing empathy and reminding Nathan how he'd n't need others to speak about him just how his friends were referring to this litttle lady...a genuine learning opportunity that without FaceBook we would have missed.

tommy jordan - And i'm writing this, Nathan comes into my office and asks, "Hey, mom, there's a funny bumper sticker about... (some marginally inappropriate saying). What is your opinion? Can I input it on my FaceBook? I do believe it's hilarious!!

"Alright," To be sure when i remind myself this is really a predictable developmental milestone. I am not too old to keep in mind what I was like as well age. Pick your battles, Susan, just pick your battles.